Click here to ORDER an A++ paper from our MASTERS and DOCTORATE WRITERS: Training Title 15 TRANSCRIPT OF VIDEO FILE<\/strong><\/a><\/span><\/em><\/h3>\n00:04:45OFF CAMERA\u00a0So some people,\u00a0men and women, if they knew you were gay, they’d\u00a0treat you differently. But hard it’s know in advance the exact\u00a0gains and losses. All you know is that\u00a0it would be different.<\/p>\n
00:05:05PATIENT\u00a0That it would feel lousy for somebody to get up and move away from me\u00a0because they thought that I would… do something with them.<\/p>\n
00:05:15OFF CAMERA\u00a0Some may very well feel that way.\u00a0Do you ever have sexual thoughts about any of the men in your unit?<\/p>\n
00:05:25PATIENT\u00a0Mild curiosity maybe about\u00a0what you know someone looks like or something, undressed.\u00a0But not actually having sex\u00a0kinds of thoughts. I have thoughts of wanting to be\u00a0close, but that’s, that’s not sexual.\u00a0I mean with women, too. I enjoy close friendships.<\/p>\n
00:05:55OFF CAMERA\u00a0Sounds like… your own feelings are\u00a0just a little bit confused separating out friendship and\u00a0sexual feelings.<\/p>\n
00:06:05PATIENT\u00a0Well,\u00a0I’ve never been in an on-going relationship.\u00a0I mean a few times fooling around. A couple years\u00a0back.<\/p>\n
00:06:20OFF CAMERA\u00a0Do you have doubts\u00a0about whether you prefer women or if you prefer men?<\/p>\n
00:06:25PATIENT\u00a0No. No doubts.\u00a0I’ve known since I was 8 what kind of…\u00a0nude photos, later internet pics, videos, I like to look\u00a0at. Just no real-life experiences.<\/p>\n
00:06:45OFF CAMERA\u00a0So it sounds like you feel pretty confident about your sexuality?<\/p>\n
00:06:50PATIENT\u00a0I’m gay. I know I’m gay.<\/p>\n
00:06:55OFF CAMERA\u00a0So who else, other than me just now, have you ever said those words\u00a0to?<\/p>\n
00:07:00PATIENT\u00a0“I’m gay?”<\/p>\n
00:07:00OFF CAMERA\u00a0Yes.<\/p>\n
00:07:05PATIENT\u00a0Just you. Just now.<\/p>\n
00:07:05OFF CAMERA\u00a0So\u00a0you don’t have experience in telling people. You haven’t practiced that skill.<\/p>\n
00:07:15PATIENT\u00a0I never thought about that as a skill.<\/p>\n
00:07:20OFF CAMERA\u00a0Well you have the skill, it sounds like of thinking whether or not you are\u00a0gay, which many people don’t even have that skill, But you\u00a0are lacking in two skills. You have a little difficulty,\u00a0little confusion about, thinking about separating friendships from\u00a0sexual relations and then your lacking in that\u00a0skill of telling people that you are gay. And not having those two skills,\u00a0sometimes that scares people.<\/p>\n
00:07:50PATIENT\u00a0Try terrifies.<\/p>\n
00:07:55OFF CAMERA\u00a0Terrifies.\u00a0Well, over the years, listening to people like I do with\u00a0similar concerns, it’s, it’s clear to me that there are several\u00a0skills in talking about one’s own sexuality.\u00a0There are bad ways, bad timing for telling people about your sexuality. And there\u00a0are good ways, better timing.<\/p>\n
00:08:20PATIENT\u00a0Guess that makes sense.<\/p>\n
00:08:25OFF CAMERA\u00a0And then another skill is recognizing that there are people\u00a0who won’t want to learn directly from you about your sexuality,\u00a0and there are people who do not want to learn it directly from you.\u00a0Maybe because of their religious beliefs, or their cultural backgrounds,\u00a0or even their lack of thinking about sexuality.\u00a0So it’s a skill to look at people, talk to people and\u00a0learn to sense their attitudes. So you don’t confront them and\u00a0surprise them or alarm them.<\/p>\n
00:09:00PATIENT\u00a0But these people, they’re supposed to be\u00a0learning about sexuality in workshops and all, right?<\/p>\n
00:09:05OFF CAMERA\u00a0How many\u00a0times have you gone to class, learning, only to later discover it was\u00a0more difficult to apply what you learned?<\/p>\n
00:09:15PATIENT\u00a0Lots of times.<\/p>\n
00:09:20OFF CAMERA\u00a0Yeah. So maybe one day, people will come into the military and\u00a0talk open about sexuality and early in their meeting people,\u00a0but not now. We’re not there now. I think we have to be realistic.<\/p>\n
00:09:35[sil.]<\/p>\n
00:09:40OFF CAMERA\u00a0You look confused.\u00a0Maybe confusion’s okay. It’s a confusing\u00a0topic at this point in our history.<\/p>\n
00:09:55PATIENT\u00a0What other\u00a0“skills” am I missing?<\/p>\n
00:10:00OFF CAMERA\u00a0Well… What\u00a0about dealing with rejection?<\/p>\n
00:10:05PATIENT\u00a0Rejection?\u00a0Damn.<\/p>\n
00:10:10OFF CAMERA\u00a0Yep. That’s a skill. Think about it. Lots of\u00a0celebrities and politicians, they have to be really superb at dealing with\u00a0rejection. That’s a skill. If you tell people you are gay,\u00a0there are people who will walk away from you. Those people may need time to go\u00a0think about it. About what you shared with them. You’ve had lots of time to\u00a0think about sexuality. Maybe they have not. You\u00a0can expect that some of those people will come around and later be accepting.\u00a0Other people who walk away from you, may feel deceived,\u00a0and they may never, never come back to your side.<\/p>\n
00:10:55PATIENT\u00a0That what scares me.<\/p>\n
00:10:55OFF CAMERA\u00a0And you have to plan ahead for that.\u00a0Rehearse it in your head, maybe rehearse with\u00a0accepting friends, or counselors, people,\u00a0about how you are going to deal with those moments. That’s, that’s a skill.<\/p>\n
00:11:15[sil.]<\/p>\n
00:11:20OFF CAMERA\u00a0You look sad\u00a0about that.<\/p>\n
00:11:25PATIENT\u00a0I used to worry about rejection.\u00a0And it just made me want to die.<\/p>\n
00:11:35OFF CAMERA\u00a0Kill yourself?<\/p>\n
00:11:35[Shakes head “Yes”]<\/p>\n
00:11:40OFF CAMERA\u00a0Any thoughts like that now?<\/p>\n
00:11:40PATIENT\u00a0Not for\u00a0years. I’ve seen too many people come out of the closet and do\u00a0fine. I mean not so much people I\u00a0know, but from TV, internet, hearing their stories.<\/p>\n
00:12:00OFF CAMERA\u00a0In your\u00a0unit, if you tell people, do you feel people may threaten\u00a0your safety? Not watch your back when you’re in danger?<\/p>\n
00:12:15PATIENT\u00a0Naw. The people in my unit are amazing.\u00a0It’s more the small, the\u00a0subtle looks, the…\u00a0Feeling like I wasn’t\u00a0with them I mean I don’t mean to sound like a pussy, but…\u00a0These men, they’re\u00a0all I have. Day after\u00a0day. They’re right there,\u00a0and I don’t… I don’t want to feel like I’m on the outside.<\/p>\n
00:13:00[sil.]<\/p>\n
00:13:05OFF CAMERA\u00a0So back when you were with the unit,\u00a0did you feel like they were with you, when you were not\u00a0truthful with them?<\/p>\n
00:13:20PATIENT\u00a0I guess not.\u00a0They couldn’t be with me.\u00a0I wasn’t being real.\u00a0I used to dream that what I had was real.\u00a0I want that to end. Not being\u00a0real.<\/p>\n
00:13:50[sil.]<\/p>\n
00:13:55OFF CAMERA\u00a0What are you\u00a0thinking?<\/p>\n
00:14:05PATIENT\u00a0That I still don’t have my answer. I have lots more weighing of pros and\u00a0cons to do. Maybe that’s okay.\u00a0Brush up on the skills, as you call them, while I prepare to…\u00a0To tell them.\u00a0How do I\u00a0start? I wish\u00a0I could use stop loss and take you with me.<\/p>\n
00:14:35OFF CAMERA\u00a0[Laugh] Thank you for\u00a0inviting me.<\/p>\n
00:14:40PATIENT\u00a0You’re welcome.<\/p>\n
00:14:45OFF CAMERA\u00a0I’ll tell you what, let me talk to a\u00a0few people. See if… If I can identify someone with whom you can\u00a0talk with overseas. But in the meantime…\u00a0Let’s, you and me… At least have a session or two\u00a0before you leave. Okay?<\/p>\n
00:15:05PATIENT\u00a0Sure.<\/p>\n
00:15:10[sil.]<\/p>\n
00:15:10END TRANSCRIPT<\/p>\n